I'm going to do a little recap of our journey.
For a year, we watched the special focus list from China trying to find a child whose needs we thought we could handle. Ha! After a year of searching we came across this sweet girl.
Her needs were so manageable, I thought for sure there was a mistake and she wasn't supposed to be on this list. As we did some research, talked with our doctors, we did discover they were a little more than we originally thought. Everything was still completely manageable. We moved forward.
Two months later, we get an update on our sweet girl. One of the updates was telling us she had severe scoliosis. Originally we were told it was torticollis, which would involve a very simple procedure and physical therapy. Now with scoliosis, the International Adoption Clinic wanted to be sure we understood that for two years, she would have multiple surgeries on her back. They also told us some more scary info. We prayed about it, and The Lord made it clear we were supposed to move forward. So, we moved forward.
We continued the hustle and bustle of everything adoption. We were on a rather slow track at this point. Nothing was being rushed, just a regular ol' adoption.
The Lord continuously made himself known to us. He provided extra income when needed, generous gifts when needed, and to top it off it has all happened in very unpredictable ways.
Let's fastforward a few months. Towards the end of November, we got an update on our girl. She was in the hospital. She had pneumonia and the flu. She was having frequent blue spells. And the kicker: SHE WAS IN HEART FAILURE.
This sweet little angel is in heart failure. I still can't completely wrap my head around it. She needs her pulmonary valve replaced, and this will not happen until she comes home. At this point, our agency requested an expedite on her adoption. Once it was granted, everything on China's side has moved rather quickly. Unfortuntely, the same can't be said for things state side. We are shooting to leave on January 30th, but as of right now we can't do anything but wait. We will likely have a 1-2 day notice that we are traveling.
Our doctor at the International Adoption Clinic got in touch with us about her update, and I'll be honest, the whole response was gloom and doom. I cried and cried. I'm talking ugly cry that I couldn't stop. We did get in touch with the cardiologist she will use, and he gave us a totally different outlook on what her future will look like. He gave us the HOPE we needed. I will be forever thankful for that doctor calling me on a Friday night!
This has been the hardest journey of my life. And we haven't gotten to the hard part yet! I know The Lord gave us pieces of her situation at a time because He knew our faith was too weak to take it on all at once. Knowing everything we know now, and knowing what we were looking for a year ago, I'm afraid Wayne and I would have never considered her file. Now a year later, we have no doubt The Lord wants her to join our family. We are so ready to go across the world to bring our daughter home.
Now, can I just be honest for a second? We are I am scared. I literally mean scared. Wayne has handled all of this so well, and I've had several moments of insanity if I'm being honest. We have no idea what life is about to look like for us. We do know she needs multpile surgeries after her heart surgery. We do know she has a lung that only developed 35ish%, which could really complicate things. We do know we have two very young boys at home that need us just as much as she does.
I have no idea how all of this is going to pan out. I do know that The Lord goes before us, and thankfully He knows.
He knows what Wayne and I will need to parent these precious children He has blessed us with. And for right now and for always, that has to be good enough for me.
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