The Day I Deleted Facebook

From the title, you can probably tell where this post is going.

As I have mentioned before, I have a love/hate relationship with the internet in general.  I really didn't have a Facebook "problem" so to say, but the internet in general was getting in the way of life.  At the beginning of the year, I made a resolution to read my Bible chronologically all the way through.  Man, I was pumped.  Do you want to know something stupid?  Before the first month was up, I missed several days in a row.  Now, keep in mind, I could come up with all sorts of excuses (the number one being that I'm the Preschool Director at our church and we've been working our tails off trying to get a new building open), but there was always time for Facebook, or Pinterest, or blog reading.  

Then, a couple of times within a week, Jacob came up to me while I was on the computer and said, "Mama, look at me."  Reality check.  Both times I had been lost in internet land, and both times I had things being left undone at home.  The number one being playing with my boys.

About that time, I was faced (for not the first time) with major conviction and I was at a crossroads with what I should do.  I spoke to a friend about it, mainly to keep me accountable, and as soon as Grant laid down for a nap, I went to deleting.  

And I didn't stop with Facebook.

Next, I went directly to Pinterest.  I'll be honest, this was way harder for me than Facebook could have ever been.  I had the perfect life pinned away on my boards.  The perfect clothes for my children.  The perfect house.  The perfect meals to cook my family.  The perfect toys to be built for my children with all of the spare time that we have.  The perfect closet.  The perfect homemade cleaning products (I did find some things I loved on there for this, some things not so much.)  The perfect dates for my husband.  The perfect newborn pictures that made me yearn for a newborn that we aren't quite ready for yet.  The perfect birthday parties and baby showers.  The perfect everything.

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So what's the problem?  Well, life's not perfect.  And it's not intended to be all about us.  I should definitely be more concerned about what I'm doing for the Kingdom and how I'm directing my children there.  

{To top it off, you see the pictures above?  All of them are from blogs I was following.  WAS being the key word.  Most of which are outwardly speaking Christian women that I will desperately miss reading.  After all, they did nothing to make me feel the way I did.  It's all me.  So, please, if you don't struggle with this, check them out!  :)}

The internet was making me wish for things that absolutely do not matter.  I was in a huge spirit of discontent (which is a straight up spiritual check for me!).  I was putting more stress on myself and my husband than what was necessary.  Bless him.  I still cannot believe how lost in all of this stuff that I had gotten.  I really don't know why that man loves me the way he does, but I will be forever thankful.

So, what's my goal with all of this?  To show myself just how perfectly imperfect life is.  Boy, am I blessed.  When it comes down to it, if given the opportunity I wouldn't trade places with anyone if given the chance.  So why have I been so worried about what everyone else was doing, wearing, decorating...  This is all I could ever want.  I plan on spending as much time as possible focusing on my Lord, my family, and living life.  

I plan on focusing a little more on this here blog.  The reason I started it was to make family yearbooks out of it, and the last 9 months kinda stink.  It's all the obligatory posts, and I didn't work too hard on them either.  I hope to do more than that.....after the children are asleep!  :)  I'm also on Instagram (crystalapeoples).  It's a love of mine that takes no time away from the things that matter.  Feel free to find me there!

Will I ever go back to Facebook?  Probably.  I have tons of family I keep up with through it, and I have a sister deploying that I plan on keeping in touch with in any way possible.  There will be a major change though.  I've even thought about going crazy deleting on there.  I don't know. As of right now, I'm enjoying the freedom of not thinking about it.

As a matter of fact, I have one word that describes what all of this has felt like to me.  Freeing.